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BizarroSephiroth
07-17-2006, 06:39 AM
Here's the stupidest rumor possible...

Cheese Weapon
Get the wierd chocobo(check chocobo rumor section) Now ride the chocobo out of midgar and ride it to rocket town. (Note that you cannot go on mountains because the Weird Chocobo is afraid of heights.) Run around the rocket ten times and you can enter it. Now you will be prompted: "Where to?" You can answer one: "Disneyland" "West Side" "Party" Choosing Disneyland will take you to Gold Saucer, where all the costumes will be Disney-oriented. West Side takes you to a hidden area in midgar where Barret _really_ grew up. Party will take you to Costa Del Sol, where Cid is having a kegger in the house with everyone else (including the Turks.) BUT YOU WANT TO CHOOSE THE HIDDEN FOURTH OPTION. This will bring up another question: "Are you sure?" Answer "Yes" and you will fly to the moon. When you land you have ten seconds to run into the cheese weapon, who is skipping by just as you land. If you touch him you can fight him. If not, game over. Stats of the Cheese Weapon: ----- HP: 2,000,000,000 MP: 20,000 Attacks: Sharp Cheddar (a physical attack, causes around +8000 damage) Cheese Sneeze (Causes +5000 damage to all plus poison and confu) Cheese Freeze (Ice based, causes +7000 damage to one) Cheese Breeze (Wind based, causes +5000 damage to all) Cheese Degrees (Fire, causes +8000 damage to one) Vitamin Cheese (Heals the Cheese Weapon for 9999 HP) Death by Cheese (Causes 9999 damage to all, used when HP is down to 1,000,000. Can only be blocked by casting shield or barrier beforehand) EXP: 1,000,000 AP: 1,000,000 (like you'd need all that, anyway) Gil: 1,000,000 Win: Cheese Ring Steal: Cheese armlet (If you can equip it during battle, which you really can't, it will absorb all damage taken from the cheese weapon as HP) Morph: Cheese Source (raises stats of all characters to 255) Notes: ----- The Cheese Weapon will summon four Cheeseasaurus Rexes (yes, the ones from the Kraft Cheese and Macaroni commercial.) They can attack you for about 3000 HP each, and can steal items from you (they usually wind up stealing everything you have, but you can steal them back. you win them back at the end of the battle, anyway.) The easiest way to beat the Cheese Weapon (I tested this and it ALWAYS works) is to summon Odin, which will turn him into cheese slices, then summon Titan to turn him into a cheese sandwich. Then summon Typoon to turn the sandwich over. Then summon the Knights of Round to put toppings on the sandwich. They will put on: Ham, Turkey, Salami, Bologna, Mayonnaise, Mustard, Pickles, Olives, Lettuce, Tomato, Peppers, and Onions. Then the big guy at then end (i think it's king arthur) will cut the sandwich in half.

And then you have..

Cow Breeding?
Give the cheese ring to the guy in Kalm and...Interesting Insert: If you go into the pub at Kalm, you will find the polygon render of Nobuo Uematsu (the ff7 music composer.) He is incredibly drunk and will tell you that he is sick of the prelude and is going to take it out for ff8. Anyway, once you equip the cow lure materia, you can fight cows instead of Chocobos. You can breed them too! Then a new option on Choco Billy's menu is "Milk." When you milk them, they will produce cheese. You have to milk a "Smelly Cow" to get Limburger, milk a "Holy Cow" to get swiss, and milk a "Patriotic Cow" to get american. I heard there's a blue cow that will give you bleu cheese, and an italian cow which will give you Parmesan and Mozzarella cheese. If you go to wall market, you'll find the honeybee inn has been vacated. You can buy the building for 1,000,000 Gil. Then you can open a deli. You can serve sandwiches with your cheese, and in the International version of ff7, you can get the Salmon Materia and have Salmon Cheese, which sells for 10,000 Gil on a sandwich.

AND

Wierd Chocobo
After beating Meteor(rumor) go to Corneo's mansion to get it...


AND

Meteor fight


Okay, defeat Jenova Synthesis, Bizarro Sephiroth, and Safer Sephiroth, and start escaping from the crater. When the battle between Cloud and Final Sephiroth ensues, start to run away. You won't be able to, but keep doing it. Sephiroth will hit you for 1 damage at intervals. Keep running. You have a 1 in 128 chance of escaping when he hits you. When you finally escape, you will be standing outside of Midgar (don't ask me how.) You will have a brief moment of thought and then you will commence the battle with Meteor. Meteor Stats: ----- HP: 9,999,999,999,999 MP: 0 Attacks: Earth Crush (used one minute into the battle, which destroys the planet and ends the game.) Meteorain (as per the limit break) Comet, Comet2 EXP: 1 AP: 0 Gil: Like a big rock would carry gil! Win: Some scars and the praise of billions. Steal: Comet Materia, Space Junk, Moon Rock Morph: Tissue Notes: ------ In a nutshell, you have exactly one minute to kill Meteor before it hits earth, but here's how you can do it. YOU WILL LOSE THIS BATTLE if you don't have a Transform materia in your rotation. You need to cast Mini on Meteor five times. You can insure doing this by casting Haste on yourself. After you hit Meteor five times with Mini the battle will end, and you get 1 EXP and 0 AP. Meteor will get mad and crash down on earth, but it's only the size of a house and lands on Don Corneo's mansion. Go back into midgar using a disabled key item called the "Pogo Stick."

To see these go to

[Only registered and activated users can see links]


These are retarded. Note they are all false. Do not be stupid and try these, any of you n00bs who like to post the same things over and over.

Avinite
07-17-2006, 10:14 AM
Well, I heard if you buy over $70 worth at Tescos they give you an Aeris coupon.

Oh and well, also I heard FF7 was suing the bible for making Jesus too much like Aeris, coz FF7 is a classic, and the bible is simply pretty cool.

Oh and also, hilarious website o.O. I thought there would be 1 or 2.

TeknoBlade
07-17-2006, 02:34 PM
I heard that if you lawn gnome five hundred times in Fiona Apple's eatery of leeches and lepers, you stalactite the gourd harbinger and fist five foul fowls and the Midgar Zolom gives you vaginal rash ointment.

hb smokey
07-17-2006, 02:37 PM
I've heard that FFVII is actually a decent game, but that's just a rumor as well.

TeknoBlade
07-17-2006, 02:40 PM
I've heard that I'm witty, but that's just a rumor as well.

:rolleyes:

Prak
07-17-2006, 02:44 PM
I've heard that TeknoBlade can make edits to posts that are marginally clever, but that's just a rumor as well.

TeknoBlade
07-17-2006, 03:00 PM
I've heard that Prak did exactly what he denounced TeknoBlade for doing, but that's just another hypocritical Prak move.

Prak
07-17-2006, 03:04 PM
I was going to post another edited quote, but I'll be the bigger man and put a stop to it.

TeknoBlade
07-17-2006, 03:05 PM
I lose

;)

Prak
07-17-2006, 03:07 PM
Oh, going for the predictable joke, are you?

TeknoBlade
07-17-2006, 03:13 PM
It wasn't really a joke. If you're looking for a good joke, I suggest you look no further than your pelvic region.

OHO

Prak
07-17-2006, 03:19 PM
And just what the hell, may I ask, are you doing down there anyway?

Van Finel
07-17-2006, 04:07 PM
I say we all just go eat pie and be friends

Nightowl9910
07-18-2006, 08:34 AM
And just what the hell, may I ask, are you doing down there anyway?

Ha ha! :laugh:

TeknoBlade
07-18-2006, 12:47 PM
And just what the hell, may I ask, are you doing down there anyway?

That would've been witty had you not just copied what I said about you. All it boils down to is an "I know you are but what am I" statement, which you seem to be fond of. Stick to your "baised opinion" approach in conversation, it works much better. :rolleyes:

Prak
07-18-2006, 12:50 PM
Actually, it boils down to that being an ironic joke at your expense. It was two jabs in one!

TeknoBlade
07-18-2006, 01:04 PM
Actually, it boils down to that being an ironic joke at your expense. It was two jabs in one!

Right. :rolleyes:

Prak
07-18-2006, 01:13 PM
It now seems to me that you are engaging in something other than light-hearted ribbing. Please let me know if this is the case. If I am being seriously insulted, I need to know before I can respond with due abrasiveness.

TeknoBlade
07-18-2006, 01:37 PM
It's all in jest. I think of this :rolleyes: as a friendly ribbing icon, since it's smirking. No worries Prak.

Prak
07-18-2006, 01:38 PM
Jolly good. Carry on.

FF1WithAllThieves
07-18-2006, 06:54 PM
I know I've posted this one before, but I heard that if you play FFVII naked while there are robbers in your house, you might get raped.

Van Finel
07-18-2006, 07:01 PM
Yeah my friend did that. He said it worked.

Andyuk
07-18-2006, 07:41 PM
Whats the point making a rumour so utterly rediculous that nobody (even a ff7 fanboy) would believe it.
Please tell me nobody people believed these to be true.

TeknoBlade
07-18-2006, 10:02 PM
What! I did them, you can't be serious Andyuk?! I've tried them all, and yeah my rectum is bleeding but it was worth it to prove YOU NONBELIEVERS wrong!

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO PRAK'S MOM

fastidious percolator
07-19-2006, 06:40 AM
Cheese Weapon
Get the wierd chocobo(check chocobo rumor section) Now ride the chocobo out of midgar and ride it to rocket town. (Note that you cannot go on mountains because the Weird Chocobo is afraid of heights.) Run around the rocket ten times and you can enter it. Now you will be prompted: "Where to?" You can answer one: "Disneyland" "West Side" "Party" Choosing Disneyland will take you to Gold Saucer, where all the costumes will be Disney-oriented. West Side takes you to a hidden area in midgar where Barret _really_ grew up. Party will take you to Costa Del Sol, where Cid is having a kegger in the house with everyone else (including the Turks.) BUT YOU WANT TO CHOOSE THE HIDDEN FOURTH OPTION. This will bring up another question: "Are you sure?" Answer "Yes" and you will fly to the moon. When you land you have ten seconds to run into the cheese weapon, who is skipping by just as you land. If you touch him you can fight him. If not, game over. Stats of the Cheese Weapon: ----- HP: 2,000,000,000 MP: 20,000 Attacks: Sharp Cheddar (a physical attack, causes around +8000 damage) Cheese Sneeze (Causes +5000 damage to all plus poison and confu) Cheese Freeze (Ice based, causes +7000 damage to one) Cheese Breeze (Wind based, causes +5000 damage to all) Cheese Degrees (Fire, causes +8000 damage to one) Vitamin Cheese (Heals the Cheese Weapon for 9999 HP) Death by Cheese (Causes 9999 damage to all, used when HP is down to 1,000,000. Can only be blocked by casting shield or barrier beforehand) EXP: 1,000,000 AP: 1,000,000 (like you'd need all that, anyway) Gil: 1,000,000 Win: Cheese Ring Steal: Cheese armlet (If you can equip it during battle, which you really can't, it will absorb all damage taken from the cheese weapon as HP) Morph: Cheese Source (raises stats of all characters to 255) Notes: ----- The Cheese Weapon will summon four Cheeseasaurus Rexes (yes, the ones from the Kraft Cheese and Macaroni commercial.) They can attack you for about 3000 HP each, and can steal items from you (they usually wind up stealing everything you have, but you can steal them back. you win them back at the end of the battle, anyway.) The easiest way to beat the Cheese Weapon (I tested this and it ALWAYS works) is to summon Odin, which will turn him into cheese slices, then summon Titan to turn him into a cheese sandwich. Then summon Typoon to turn the sandwich over. Then summon the Knights of Round to put toppings on the sandwich. They will put on: Ham, Turkey, Salami, Bologna, Mayonnaise, Mustard, Pickles, Olives, Lettuce, Tomato, Peppers, and Onions. Then the big guy at then end (i think it's king arthur) will cut the sandwich in half.

Oho, me and a couple of others came up with that when we were bored. :p

Cloudxsquall
07-19-2006, 11:06 AM
Originally Posted By Teknoblade
What! I did them, you can't be serious Andyuk?! I've tried them all, and yeah my rectum is bleeding but it was worth it to prove YOU NONBELIEVERS wrong!

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO PRAK'S MOM

LOL