View Full Version : ~*Tifa's Poetry Corner*~

02-23-2002, 11:26 PM
Here goes.. it's my Poem Corner....:D

I never thought I'd have one of these. But enough of me blabbin'... I finally got through my wirters block and.. well BAM... here's a poem... feedback ppls plz... ;)


By Tifa Lockheart

You- who gave me writers block...
I havenít been able to write since that Fateful day
when we told each other the true root of our emotions.

You- who makes my heart race-
Who just saying your name makes me get weak.
Just thinking of you sends my conscious realms spinning.

Drives my crazy knowing that I canít touch you- not just yet.

Our paths will cross soon enough.
Just keep thinking of me. ;)

And to think,
To think that I faced this cold, loveless world without you
in my life.

That I went so long... alone and un-loved-
and then you came with your sweetness
and your honeyed words
and unknowingly dazzled me, swept me off of my feet.

To think that Iíve been with others
who have claimed to ďloveĒ me.

Though the others havenít even come close
to what I have with you now.
With you...
Itís so different, so startling clear.

They say when you fall in love, everything is different.

Itís true.

The air is fresher, the sky is clearer, the day more beautiful.
What youíve done for me is amazing.

Your love rings so true.
Deep within me-
Deep within my heart-
Deep within my soul.

Youíve touched places in me I never knew I had.
Iíve never known that I could be so gentle, so caring, so loving...

Iíll never forget what you said that night;

ďWe had each others hearts, we just didnít know it yet.Ē

The distance that spans between us makes me ache.

We should never be apart.
What brings us closer-
the beating of our hearts.
They pulse as one.

Time ceases to be when Iím with you.
The whole world falls away.

Donít promise me the moon, the stars...
Just give of your heart-
Just stick by my side-
let me hear you say those three words-

Just give me you and thatís enough.

I love you.

02-24-2002, 12:27 AM
That is beautiful. This poem is very consistent, as it is emotional from beginning to end. I also like the pace of the poem. It's just right, and that allows the words to take effect and make the poems that much better. Good job.^^

socks are kiff
02-25-2002, 07:13 AM
lucky guy, whoever he is. ;)

and oh yeah, the poem is good too. :D

02-25-2002, 09:48 AM
Originally posted by Shadow
lucky guy, whoever he is. ;)

Thanx Shadow.. *smiles mysteriously* "the lucky guy" knows who he is..;)

02-25-2002, 12:18 PM
Thats an awsome poem. Extremely well done and emotional. Keep then up tifa!:)

02-25-2002, 01:28 PM
wonderful poem, loved it
once again, I can't figure out how people all write these long ol' poems *sigh* I'm missin out on something :D ah, well, great poem Tifa :)

02-25-2002, 02:31 PM
Well Tessa.. this is one of my shorter poems...:D Here it is...

Assure me that you're real...
that you won't fade away.

Tell me that you won't leave me.

"Stay true." ;)

Too many have shimmered away and left me out in the rain,
leaving empty shells of their lies and promises behind.

Make me believe in you-
in your love.

Make me believe in the magical web of romance
that you constantly spin around me.

I love you deeply. And I miss you with equal passion.
That much you know.

But can you accept all that I have to give?
My willing heart...
My loving soul...
My sharp, nimble mind?

It's still a gamble....

To give you all that I have in my and still be fulfilled
with the fiery burning that is my heart that is in love.

Or to hold back what I feel and slight the both of us.

No matter what will become of us...no matter how unsure and rocky things get... I feel this deep within me;

I'll never leave you... for as long as you'll have me...
I'm here, I'm yours...
longer than that.

I'm yours til the universe ends,and the last star burns out,
but even then, I'll still love you.

02-25-2002, 02:57 PM
ohhh, I really liked that.. very touching

(oh, and hey, I like your new av.. you may have had it for a while but I just noticed.. I'm not all too observant so you'll have to bear with me)

02-25-2002, 03:01 PM
thanx... I loooovvve this av too.. and btw.. I just changed it today Tess... and thanx all you ppls for the feedbacks. ;)

oh yeah and Tess I like ur sig AND ur avatar... 'specially ur sig... I love goldfish!! ^__^.

02-25-2002, 09:27 PM
I can't say why, but I like the second poem too. I wish I could say why, but the truth is I don't know. I don't know why I like the poem. I just do. I want to say something intelligent about the way I feel about the poem, but I just can't find a way to describe it... weird...:eye:

02-28-2002, 10:11 AM
Damn.. I came back here to post and all these ppl have their own "poetry corner" space thingy going on... ^^. Man... it didn't used to be this many ppl here b 4... n e wayse... here goes my poem....

By Me

There was a time when I admired you-
when you clogged up all of my conciousness.

Thinking of you was like a drug.
It brought me to a mental high.

I even cleared out the cobwebs of my mind,
just for you.

I brushed all of my agenda aside, for you.
Canceled all the plans with my girls... for you.

Gave you all of me, my heart, my soul and I
dumped my heart at your feet and pledged my life...
my life to you, us.


You told me that I was the only one,
that I would always be the only one.
You lied, cheated on me and stole my heart from within
my breast and stomped on it.

Ignored my deep seated weeping and ignored my souls cry
as you crushed me mentally.

Deep down I knew that you were no good for me.

But I couldn't help it...
I was addicted.

Addicted to your heart brusing kisses
and your sweetened words, your low sexy voice
whispering me to sleep with your hypnotizing lullaby.

Addicted to the adrenaline rushed arguments
that heated my blood with it's potentcey.

I couldn't get enough.. even though us
was killing me as much as it was killing you.

I was on a path to self destruction and I
was taking my addiction with me...


Then one day, simply
the high came down.

I had gotten enough.

I was through.


02-28-2002, 10:22 AM
I like how you compared a relationship to drug addiction. Very clever, IMO. It's very different from the rest of your poems, but it's still just as good.

Fatal Divide
02-28-2002, 10:28 AM
Wow, all those poems are great, Tifa. All very well written and emotional. Keep up the great work.

02-28-2002, 10:36 AM
God Tifa! I love your poetry! It's awesome, I can't get over how good it is! :D anyway, I enjoy reading it especially now since I'm havin the biggest case of writer's block in the history of time.

03-03-2002, 09:29 PM
Haven't posted in a while.. but here goes something I kinda threw together from bits and pieces of a conversation I had, here goes;

You were the first thought that filled my mind this morning,
the last thing I think of before I drift off to sleep.

Mysterious how things fall into place isn't it?
To think that all this heartbreak I went through,
Who would've thought that it would lead up to us?

I don't how I made it this long without you...
Matter of fact.. I don't think I could've made it at all.

It's amazing.. what you do to me my love.
You make me happy, so happy.

It's strange, sometimes I talk to the shadow of
your reflection in my mind's eye...
speaking to your mirage as if you really were here...

I want to dance with you, in the rain, forget the distance...
forget it all... to just be filled with you.

...For you are my hope, my life, my everything.
You have amazing timing dear.

But time passes so slowly, I can't wait to be in your arms.
I can bear it if I can just hear you speak my name,
say; "I love you."

I want you soooo much, you are everything to me.
I just wanna drink you in, breathe you in, taste you, smell you, kiss you speechless...

You are my life, my love, my reason for living.

You make my days bright.
My moments are filled with light.

I'll be here always,
My heart filled over with all this love... just for you...

Promise never leave my side...

03-03-2002, 09:32 PM
~~~ Full of warmth, very nice ~~~

03-03-2002, 09:33 PM
absoloutely enchanting poem, beautiful

03-04-2002, 04:38 PM
That couldn't get much better. Very enjoyable, and well done. I hope to see more soon.:)

03-04-2002, 07:58 PM
Iovely, just lovely.... they almost bring a teer to my Eyes.

Keep up the good work, and am looking forward to your next poem!

03-04-2002, 08:12 PM
Thanx everyone... much appreciated... :D

Fatal Divide
03-05-2002, 03:05 PM
Lovely poem Tifa. Very emotional, well written and a great piece of poetry. Keep up the great work, I look forward to reading your next piece.

03-07-2002, 10:00 AM
I know that I haven't posted in a while but two poems hit me yesterday. I know that all I write about is relasonships- but I am a sucker for a good romance! ^^. Here are two more poems...(I wrote these last night at around midnight!)



Like a magician you were.
Captivated under your spell.

Caught yourself a songbird within your gilded cage.

But to you-I'd come willingly.

Everything with you is perfect..as it should be.
Your words-
Your voice-
Your ways.

Even our silence is companiable.
Our silence didn't bother me. It was overwhelming.
But it wasn't one of those akward-omg-we-have-nothing-to-talk-about silences.
But our silence is powerful.
It was filled with welling emotion.
It was a I-don't-even-want-to-speak-for-fear-of--tarnishing-

I love you so completely and so deeply that it fills me
with it's sweetness.

Hold me close.
I want to inhale you- all of you.
I want to taste the sweet lulling pull of your voice.
Taste the surgery confection of your affection on your tounge.

Last night left this fathomless ache in me.
A primordial longing for you.

I remember the comforting sound of your voice.
It will forever warm my heart on those cold nights to come.

You fill my mind-my soul.

There is nothing more than what I want
is to never leave your side.
So don't leave mine.

Time is ticking my sweet.
And my well-developed patience is rapidly shattering.

Let us carve a place in time where we can just hold hands and just be.

I want to sink in the Oblivion that is you.

What else can I say?

Except those 3 words that I spoke and you said them as well.

I guess that will keep us until we can finally say it face to face.

Until then- I'll think of you so...
think of me... ;)

Remember love, 143.



Spending a day without
you is like denying myself breath in my lungs.

I need you.

Never before have I felt
this stomach churning,
heart yearning,
gut wrenching feeling.

I miss you.

Every second that passes that
I cannot have you-
be with you-

it kills me.

This feeling transcends
anything that I've ever felt in my whole life.

It amazes me.

We should have never parted.
The seperation tore at my heart.
I never told you the root of my soul- until now.

For you are my heart's desire,
the object of my affection-
the one that is- and always will be in my heart.

I love you.

I imagine your kisses are warm and poignant,
like the welcoming rays of the sun.
I drink you in like a sunbather, illuminating in the yellow rain
of your love.

Pour some more heat into me.

Complete me with one touch.

There is no limits to my love for you.
It's as deep as the deepest ocean- vaster than the vast
expanse of space.
It's endless.


Now here I am.. wandering to myself about us.
Stars glimmer in the dark-
a reflection on the sea below.


Makes me wanna fall asleep with your arms around me
at Night... every Night.. for the rest of my life.


Makes me wanna span all of those miles between us.
Makes me want to see the reflection of your love's magic
dawn in your eyes.


It fills me like a tumultous wave,
it seems like my emotion will engulf us both.


Allow me to clarify for a moment...
Last night, there was no other place
in Heaven on Earth that I would rather have been...
then with you.


Just to let you know, there will never be another.

Only you hon.
With me.


03-07-2002, 10:37 AM
Nice, you can tell you put alot of time, heart, and emotion in those words... :)

03-12-2002, 01:58 PM
(I haven't posted in a while... but something struck me today, so here goes...)

What Matters
By Me

What matters?
All that matters is that I love you.

I want you.
Too long I have been denied.

They want me to stay away...
To stop loving you...
To leave you alone.
To let you go.

What matters?
Nothing except that when I am with you
my heart kindles over with such love and emotion
that it overwhelms me.

What matters?
Except that I can't let you go...
I can't stay away...
I don't want to leave you alone.

What matters?
I just want to soar to you and take
you away from everything and just steal
a place in time where no one or nothing can touch us.

What matters?

What matters to me is that it seems like
the World is against us...
that we are put up against unfathomable odds.

What matters?
I just want you to hold me, to kiss me,
to my fears go away, to wipe away my tears.

To protect me from this horrible onslaught of pain.
To be my shelter in this rain.

Us is what matters.

And it is killing me... this pressure is crushing me slowly.

I don't want this Fate.

I don't want to decide.

I love you...

That is what matters.

03-12-2002, 04:30 PM
::Very nice, I felt the emotions that you were portraying, Very nice::

03-12-2002, 08:51 PM
Here is another one... I just typed this one just now... on my feelings at the moment... *sigh*

Here goes...

By Me

There never was another... never will be another.

Only you.

Why is Fate playing me this cruel hand?
So long I have waited...
now I am being told that I must wait longer.

I will take all the time I need love... don't worry.
but even the fewest seconds without you kills me.
I don't see how you can deal.
I don't see even how I have dealt.

But deep down I feel that this Test, this Trial
is something towards the greater good.

To make me a better person.

But I am slowly being pulled away from you..
from us.

And it hurts.
So deeply.
So deep down that I cry.
And through the tears I try and cope with
this situation.

This... and I am left with this yearning..
this aching...
to just reach out and touch your soul again...
to be in your Life... to feel... to hear you say "I love you" again...

I am sorry.

Sorry that we both have to go through this pain.

Forgive me love, I love you. Truly.

03-12-2002, 10:46 PM
the passion, pain and power behind that. . .moving. . .keep the astonishing works of emotion comin'

03-12-2002, 11:02 PM
Wow, back to back emotional pieces, nice work Tifa...

03-14-2002, 02:27 PM
(A short one but a good one... :D)

Emotional wreckage that is my soul.

Oblivion lurks behind my heart laced in sadness.

Being without you... I lose the rhapsody of love that was within to a song of a loveless world...

I love you and I need you...

I don't want to wait... but I have no choice....

03-14-2002, 02:36 PM
Those are amazing tifa! Always great, good to read and well done. I hope you never stop writing poems like these, Keep them up!:)

03-14-2002, 08:27 PM
This appreciation goes to everyone who EVER gave me feedback...

Deus, Fatal Divide, FFSilver, SSJ, Megalomania, Shadow, Tessa, seifer905, and Allen Schezar. Thanks to you all... you are all a positive source for me to keep writing.. and all of you are inspirational to me...

Deus Immortale especially. ;)

Thanks everyone really... I mean it... I was ready to give up on writing... so.. thanks!!! :D

EDIT: Thanks to you to Prinsesa!

03-14-2002, 10:01 PM
Hey Tifa! These are really great! You're also an awesome poet! They're so...emotional. *sniff, sniff*

03-14-2002, 10:21 PM
(This is one of my OLD ones... I wrote this LAST YEAR after me and my ex broke up... before I found out he cheated on me, however...)

Missing You
By Me

As I sit here, thinking back
on all the times when you were
here with me.
All the words we said,
All the kisses we shared...
were they all expressed in vain?

I'm missing you.

What if...???
I think.
What if we had come to be...
things would be progressing very differently.
If the circumstances were different,
If the time was right...
I'd be in your arms instantly.

I'm missing you.

But things aren't the same...
and we still aren't together.
Yet my heart wonders why we couldn't be.

I'm missing you.

I loved you, more than I ever told you,
more than you know.
There's no doubt of that.
But I was in too much grief and to blind to see the forest for the trees.

I'm missing you.

Now I'm sad, and regretful...
for all those things we could have did,
they are no more.
All the things
I should have said,
I should have did...
I blame myself..

'Cuz I'm missing you.

My heart aches.
And these tears I cry...
not because of you and the hurt you I suffered...

but because I didn't give us a chance.

I'm missing you.

Allen Schezar
03-14-2002, 10:32 PM
Nice poetry tifa i love ur style of poetry.

03-15-2002, 08:25 AM
Sounds like you liked that guy, must have sucked when you found out he cheated. An extremely emotional poem tifa, very well done. Hope to see more great work soon.:)

03-15-2002, 10:34 AM
Originally posted by SSJ
Sounds like you liked that guy, must have sucked when you found out he cheated.

Yes.. it did... it sucked a lot...

Well... this next poem goes out to my "hon" (He knows who he is.)

Untitled #3
By Me

Slanderous whispers have been
murmurred in the darkness about us.

Too many have tried to define and deface
the bounds of love that I have found.

To you the one that eternally hold my heart
in the palm of you gentle hands...
I will suffer no more.

So long being encaged behind lover's
un-appreciative eyes...

So alone for a time...
lost and alone.
But I am loveless no longer...
I have found you.

The love of my life...
the one who makes things right.

But now that I have...
people don't believe that this is real.
That we are real.
They doubt and dis-believe.

No more will I let them hinder, hurt me... and you.

Let them do what they will,
but no longer will I cry.

Forgive me love for hurting...
for stumping this wonderful thing that
is the two of us together.

I know things might be rough now...
but we will get through it...

I promise.

My silence has been defeaning.
I miss our silence as well.
now, allow me to break it.

Email me... IM me... PM me... we need to talk... now hon.
Really... seriously. ;)

I love you...

03-15-2002, 11:37 AM
Wow, you are really pumpin the poems out, and they are all good. Keep it up, I enjoy reading your stuff. :cool::cool::cool:

03-15-2002, 01:44 PM
Good work Tifa lockheart, your poems are just soooo good!
I am really looking forward to your next poem/s, and would just like to say that when i'm down, all I have to do is come here, and I turn happy again.

03-15-2002, 02:31 PM
lol, I liked the ending of that last one...

It seems you and I both have our emotions travelling the wide spectrums of this feeling called love.

^__^ Good poetry, TL

03-15-2002, 05:59 PM
... thanx QC... thanx everyone for the feedback. Much appreciated. ^_~.

03-15-2002, 07:09 PM
Very nice poem tifa. Very good indeed. Hopefully you can come up with more soon, its always great to read.:)

03-15-2002, 07:17 PM
Nice Poem,Miss Tifa ^^
I like it.
keep it up! :)

03-17-2002, 10:04 PM
Another emotional poem. Very good.

I'm glad you didn't stop writing, Drea. Your poems are good and it'd be such a shame if you quit.

03-17-2002, 10:24 PM
(Hereís some more poems that I dug up out my word processor... hope you like them ppls... thanx Mega for the kind words... much appreciated... ^^.)

What I Feel
By Drea

What I feel for you transcends all bounds.

What I feel, crosses all boundaries.

What I feel is this vacuous space where my heart should be where your love abounds.

What I feel is something realĖ something that my intuition tells me that could be real.

Never before have I really felt this wayĖ

butterflies in my stomachĖ
palms sweatyĖ
nervous and tense yet hopeful and anticipating...

Hmm.... you stir something in me that shouldnít be stirred.

I wonder what to make of this... as we sit under the stars and consider our Fate and I consider if this could be real.

What I feelĖ

What I feelĖ

for you...

Is love. I canít deny, and Iíve tried and tried...

Tried to dispel, dispel this spell that is completely and utterly you-

Though what I feel... what I feel is real.

What I feel for you can never die...

For you are the answer to my fork in the world... you are the path in which I must take.

What I feel is devotionĖ
apocalyptic even.

Feels like my soul is at turmoil.

There is only you.

When I first met you I knew that you were ďThe OneĒ

What I feel is that no one can separate us...
We were meant to be.

I see that now.

I can only hope that one day you will be able to wrap
your arms around me and hold me,
whisper all my fears away,
soothe my hurts...
Be my strength.
I see us actually growing old together. ;)

I love you.

And now I realize... I realize that there is no other and there
will never be another.

03-17-2002, 11:55 PM
that's really deep(i cant think of much else to say)...i wish i could sit down and write somethin like that...i envy you.

you got talent...unlike me who's too lazi to do anything.

03-18-2002, 12:37 AM
This poem kind reminds me of Mariah Carey(It's a compliment). Maybe its the words transcend, butterflies, emotions, etc. Mariah Carey use those word a lot. I can almost hear the poem as a song, but it's probably just me.

03-18-2002, 11:37 AM
beautiful, heartfelt, emotional, one of the best works you've thrown our way. It speaks of hope, and hope. . .is a good thing. . ..

03-18-2002, 02:08 PM
That was awsome! I can't believe how good your writing is. Blows me off my feet, as I couldn't write anything nearly as good as that. Keep on writing.:)

03-18-2002, 02:15 PM
Thanx everyone for the feedback. (Really... I am not just saying that...)

Thanx all... it keeps me going and it inspires me! :D

Much appreciated all!

03-19-2002, 08:43 PM
(Haven't posted in a while... Opps! Double posted... oh wells... :D These are two untiltled poems of mine ... the first one is about my punkin... (he he he)... and the second one is about my ex.. :mad: Here's two more untitled poems of mine...)

Missing you creates a kindling in my heart.
Lost... or found?
Love me if you will but leave me not and don't forsake me.
I love you.

It seems like the whole World has put up Barriers against
us being together.
Never before have I felt this way about anyone... ever.
I need you.
And the time that we spend together has yet to sate me.

Don't let the Grace that is behind your eyes die.
Show me a bit of your love before my Ascension to Estacy receeds.

My Love for you burns as bright as the sun.
I've been alone for too long.
Thank you for healing me- healing and rekindling this
dead, cold soul of mine.

Your love Revived me.
There is no greater than this Love I've found,
then the love I've found in you.

I just want you to be with me here... right now.

Don't let me go.

Let Time freeze around us as we stay here together.

Don't let this moment pass.

Our love will prosper.
That will sustain me until we meet...
That will give me hope...


I thought that you were "the one"
that you would be "all I need."

I thought wrong.

You pledged your all to me.
Filled me up with the drink of your Deciet.

You tore out my heart and split it in two,
cheated on me
and burned my soul.
Covering up my scarred hard heart with the
Ashes of your Lies.

Never more am I to be fooled again by another's false pretenses.

Never more am I to be hendered by a insensitive man's
sweltering pride...
his ego which threatens to consume me.

You broke my heart and relished in the pain...
... relished in my Pain.
... and celebrated in my Agony.

I hated you.

The deed I thought unforgivable.

I only hope time will Heal the Wound you left imprinted in my Soul.

03-19-2002, 09:46 PM

Great works there! You really are talented at this...hope to see more! Don't let us down! Oops, hope I didn't put too much pressure on ya...

03-19-2002, 10:38 PM
I think these are some of your best works....

The first poem is just good. The lines are beautiful.

The second one is powerful. I can feel your pain just by reading it. Nice choice of words, by the way.

03-20-2002, 12:56 PM
Awsome as always. I really love your poetry, its the best I think i've ever read. Very powerful, and well writen. Keep them up.:)

Allen Schezar
03-20-2002, 05:47 PM
Tifa I am spechless.

03-20-2002, 10:17 PM
Thanxs everyone ... thanx Mega, Deus, Quisty-chan, Fireball20, Allen, Prinsesa, Laburnski, SSJ, seifer905, and FFSilver for the feedback... ;)... (hope I didn't forget anyone...)

Here's a poem I wrote in Math class... I thought this poem was kinda suckie... but... I'll see whatcha guys think...

Love you, I do
By Me

Love you, I do.
Love you, it's true.

No one leaves me as speechless as you.

No one makes me feel the way that you do.

I love you.

No silence has ever been so meaningful, so complete as ours.

No words have ever meant so much than those that have been
spoken and written by you.

Love you, I do.
Love you, it's true.

No day has ever been as bright.

Nothing as solemn or as peaceful as my nights...
thinking of you.

Love you, I do.
Love you, it's true.

You are the only one I've ever thought of marrying. (!!!)

You brought me alive with the simplicity that is a loveable you.

You've heard my voice say it-
and I'll say it again...

I love you, I do.
I love you, it's true.

03-20-2002, 10:25 PM
*shakes head*

you thought that was suckie. . .something as wonderful as that. . .it was beautiful and moving, had rythm, and just blew me away

Allen Schezar
03-20-2002, 11:29 PM
Tifa that poem was nice. I thought that it was not a suckie poem it was good for me. *chanting I want more.*:shock:

03-20-2002, 11:56 PM
Even if you say that it sucks it's still better than any poem I've ever written in my life. I think this poem is different. Instead of trying to make every single line sound beautiful and "perfect", it's just a cute poem that describes how you feel about someone.:D

ps. glad you like my sig and ava

03-21-2002, 07:22 AM
Well I thought it was really good, because I know I couldn't write like that. You are just soo good with words. Keep it up.;)

03-24-2002, 02:55 PM
roses are red
Tifa is hot
give me a hand
and give me a shot

03-24-2002, 02:56 PM
and another

Roses are red
violets are blue
Tifa is hot
and so am i

03-24-2002, 05:10 PM
Hmmm... interesting.... um... thanks Squall2188 ... I think? :eye:
Hey! This is my poetry corner!! Are you tryna steal my thunder here?

03-25-2002, 03:36 PM
Originally posted by Squall2188
and another

Roses are red
violets are blue
Tifa is hot
and so am i

*shakes head and sighs*

Squall2188. . .buddy. . .in all poetry there has to be truth, and yes, while tifa is hot. . .your not even cute. . .sorry, truth hurts

Allen Schezar
03-25-2002, 06:48 PM
quote: Originally posted by Squall2188
and another

Roses are red
violets are blue
Tifa is hot
and so am i

Originally posted by Deus Immortale

*shakes head and sighs*

Squall2188. . .buddy. . .in all poetry there has to be truth, and yes, while tifa is hot. . .your not even cute. . .sorry, truth hurts

Deus I agree with u the truth hurts and Squall2188 stop trying to take tifa's thunder

03-25-2002, 07:47 PM
Whoo-hoo! Thankiees Deus and Allen for the support! :D *cheers* Whoo-hoo! I'm hot!... lol.

Okay... it's been a while since I have posted a poem... here goes my next one... Another Untitled one...(I dunno if this iz good... I pieced it together from a whole buncha little works I had...)


Hoping you'll come rescue me my Love, before I drown.
Save me before I plunge!

Hold me under the silver moonlight, under the grassy fields.
Bold and beautiful, bathed in Lunar tears.

My One and only for all Time.

Come to me in pre-dawns Light.
Be with me under the sparkling sunlight, the sparkling
dew of the Sun's tears.

Don't leave me.

I love you dearest.

You helped me Revive my Heart.
Breathed wholeness into my Soul.
Pumped red hot Life into me.

You help me feel again.

When I think of you... all I feel is this wonderful
kindling in my Heart, in my Soul.

I remember Dreams that I have had of us.

Me and you holding hands looking at the Sunset,
you holding my on the Bed,
telling me how much you cared.
Waking up in your arms,
sharing sweet kisses.

You holding my hand, bathed in Golden Light,
with your handsome kind face, telling me honeyed words
with your earnest sweet expression.

I loved you so much at the moment when I heard you say those
three words.

I want to tell the whole world how much I love you.
I want to scream, get on a bullhorn to tell all about this
wondrus man I've found.

Come to me again.

I miss you and I need you.

Eternally my soulmate,
you have my love always.

Allen Schezar
03-25-2002, 08:46 PM
TL nice poem what got u into to writing poems.

Death is upon thee,
As I walked into a deadly ally,
I saw a dark bird in the shadows.

I was sure that it was one of the fellows,
I thoght that it would be my death but I was wrong.

03-25-2002, 10:21 PM
Originally posted by Allen Schezar
TL nice poem what got u into to writing poems.

That is a good question... So I will give you the abridged awnser k?

Um... what got me into writing was when I was little, I wrote something and people gave me some really good feedback... and every since then, I've been writing.

People have been complementing my work every since. Some people say I have a Gift... I still write because I am good at it. That's it in a nutshell Allen.

(And others of you whom have been wondering. :D)

03-25-2002, 10:27 PM
I'm one of those people. I think you have a gift. Writing is not something that everybody can do. Whenever I try to write how I feel I sound cliche. I have trouble expressing myself in writing. In fact, all the poems I've written in my life should be put in a book titled "The Worst Pick Up Lines In History".:p

03-25-2002, 11:54 PM
sorrie...i didnt read this one cuz i already know anything you write is a masterpiece...and by the way uhh...yes youre hot if people saying youre hot...dont even need tifa take your beauty away...

by the way...that first post i put here...that was my first time in this forum...and this 2nd post is my 2nd time in this forum...i dont read...at all, so when i saw that...well let's just say it's amazing that i comment in here.

03-26-2002, 03:14 PM
Well thats another really good poem. You are excellent at writing. I can't write anything of that calibur, I just can't seem to do it. Keep it up.:)

03-26-2002, 04:00 PM
Why is every body ganging up on me? My poems are good. Right?
And tifa I am stealing your thunder. Just kidding. anyway for old times sake let's here another from the acclaimed poet Squall2188

roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
and so are you

And the crowd goes wild

"Thank you Thank you. That is an original of mine"

Allen Schezar
03-26-2002, 05:02 PM
Originally posted by Squall2188
Why is every body ganging up on me? My poems are good. Right?
And tifa I am stealing your thunder. Just kidding. anyway for old times sake let's here another from the acclaimed poet Squall2188

roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
and so are you

And the crowd goes wild

"Thank you Thank you. That is an original of mine"

*Allen starts booing Squall2188.* J/k. Stop stealing tifa's thunder I am going to ask u only once so please stop stealing her thunder.

03-26-2002, 06:37 PM
me is sorry for witing better poems than tifa hehehe again i am just kidding. Tifa could write poems around around me

03-26-2002, 07:08 PM
Originally posted by Squall2188
me is sorry for witing better poems than tifa hehehe again i am just kidding. Tifa could write poems around around me

You got somethan right Squall2188! I could write circles around you! :D lol... (Just an update ppls... I will try and post some more works soon... )

p.s: Allen... nice sig.. ;)

03-26-2002, 07:52 PM
yaay i'm in tifa's good books

Allen Schezar
03-27-2002, 09:39 PM
*Chanting we want more poems Tifa.*

Tifa when r u going to post more poetry.:cool:

p.s .

Nice sig mega

03-28-2002, 07:02 AM
Just writing to say that Tifa's poems are the best, and no one I know even comes close.

And I won't send my 4 line little poem in, because this thread is Tifas.

Oh yeah..... TIFAS POEMS ROCKS!!!!!

03-30-2002, 09:41 PM
I don't even come close?
But i thought my poem were good. do i have ne1's support?

03-31-2002, 03:46 PM
here is another poem of mine

FF kicks some ass
i play it with a bass
my friend eats grass
excuse me i passed gas


why not more

once i ate ham
soaked in Pam
just before it went kablam
i left for a medical exam

and one more now

I went to disneyland
and ate some sand
it tasted quite bland
don't you understand?

if you can't get enough of my poems go to my topic Squall's Poetry

04-12-2002, 11:50 AM
Okay.... Squall2188... have you had fun? :D

Allow me to explain my prose-related abscence:

It's been a while people since I have last posted ANYTHING... *cringe* (Sorrie.) I was starting to think for a MO that my pen was getting rusty.

Okay... Setsuna, if you see this, you inspired me to post my haiku's!!! (I wrote them, I just didn't think they were any good, honesty.)

Here goes:


Day Break

Brilliant shines the sun.
On us and our now sweet dawn.
Our love shines as bright.


The moonlight shimmers,
On windblown white rose petals,
A symbol of us.


Oh where have you been?
I have waited all of my life.
You saved me dearest.


Heart calls out to heart.
A star falls, a wish is made.
Hope it will come true.


(I'll post a longer one later... these will just get me warmed up... Look for one tomorrow...)

Allen Schezar
04-12-2002, 12:01 PM
Nice haikus Please post a longer on please because your longer ones are much more beautiful.

04-17-2002, 06:49 PM
Tifa, you have some really great poems here! The haikus are really good, but I especially like the longer ones. I am not much of a romantic, but you seem very happy, and your feelings seem very real. That definitely shows in your poetry.

04-18-2002, 08:42 AM
Thank you Allure. . . :d The feedback ish much appreciated.

04-19-2002, 12:57 PM
WOW!!! :eek: Tifa, My God, You are like one of the best poets I have EVER seen (read), and trust me I read a LOT of poetry!!! I love the way your poems flow and the message that you send. I hope to see a LOT more poems from you. (me myself cant right very good poetry but know when I read some).:D the only suggestion I have is to title your pieces or poetry!

04-25-2002, 05:50 AM
Good work Tifa, it's still just so good!

Sorry for not sending any messages lately, but don't worry i'm still reading them.

Keep up the good work!

05-01-2002, 01:25 PM
Well I hope you post some new work soon. All your poems are really great, but is any new stuff commin soon?

05-07-2002, 04:06 PM
Originally posted by SSJ
Well I hope you post some new work soon. All your poems are really great, but is any new stuff commin soon?

Well, to awnser your question SSJ. . . :D

Here's one right here. I wrote this one this morning, I was feeling kinda blue. And Deus, this isn't the poem that I told you that I wrote about last night.

So, here goes my poem;


A Choice

The World continues to spin around us-
Time continues to go on-
and yet and still my feelings for you linger.

I love you.

Though yet and still sadness fills me
for I know that I have to choose between you and the rest-

you and the rest-
you and the rest-

Here's my fork in the road. . .

It's hard, for I know what I have to do.

I choose the rest.

They say that if you love something, let it go,
if it comes back to you, it yours, if it doesn't,
you'll never know.

I have made my choice, now I have to live with it.

Now I can only hope that you'll come back to me.

Allen Schezar
05-07-2002, 04:10 PM
Great poem but yet it makes me cry nice work my friend.

05-09-2002, 01:06 PM
Here's another one. . . Note: Deus, this is the one poem I was telling you about that night. . . :D



Tears form in my eyes as I think of you. . .
My heart aches. . .
I miss you. . .

And you couldn't be near enough.

I want to be with you,
to wake up to your face,
be in your daily life.

My dearest, why do you have to be so far?

You are the only one-
the only one I have ever needed.
There is no one else.

I love you.

And I need you here with me.

Forget the "pride factor."

I want to be in your arms now.

Come to me my love,
from across all of the miles.

Ease my pain.
Make it right.

Just stay with me tonight.

Allen Schezar
05-09-2002, 11:02 PM
Tif anice, sweet, and one more great.

It is nice to read another one of your great work because you are my the one who got me into writing poems and songs.

05-14-2002, 04:28 PM
Here goes anotha one ppls, this came off of the top of my head.

Ohhhhh. . . lookit my double posts! Well. . . it was until I edited it. X_x.


Never let me go

Stay by my side.
Promise to never leave me.
Don't falter.
Never let me go.

We can overcome anything they throw at us.
We can outlast whatever Time will allow us to.
Never let me go.

I love you eternally.
There will never be another.
You have changed my Life like no other has before.
Never let me go.

Make me laugh, you make me smile.
I live for you.
You help sustain me.
Never let me go.

I want to walk down that aisle and
see you standing there waiting for me.
The thought of you saying "I do" to me gives me chills.
Never let me go.

For all time I am yours, and we belong to eachother.
"Owarnimono" and always.

Never let me go.

Allen Schezar
05-15-2002, 09:03 AM
This is one of your best.:: Chants.:: I want more please tifa lockheart your the best.

Fatal Divide
05-16-2002, 01:30 PM
That's a great poem Tifa, very emotional and well thought out. The style of your poetry always impresses me. Keep writing, I always enjoy reading your poetry.

05-17-2002, 07:05 AM
Awsome poems. Very well done, they sound great. Keep them up, they are always nice to read.:)

06-11-2002, 09:10 AM
Thanks to everyone for the feedback.

I have a new poem that I wrote a few days back. Feedback plz ppls! ^.~


Heaven and Hell

I've seen emphereal lights spiraling
through the Heavens,
came so close to ascending
I carressed the very Angel's Wings. . .

But nothing can touch the rush I feel when I am with you.

That alone is enough to keep me fueled for days.

I've had brimstone cinge my clothes,
with disfigured demons threatening me with
the most horrible methods of torture. . .

But what is that to me when faced with the
horrible thought of ever losing you?

That in itself is it's own personal Hell.

I could never face this World without you.

It's unbearable. I need you.
Makes me wonder how
I've ever lived without you.

But no matter what happens to the both of us,
you will always have my heart.

For there is no one else out there for me but you.
It's only fitting that we spend forever together
because there is no one else who can tolerate me but you.

You give me a glimpse of Heaven.

Without you is Hell.

Simply this.

One constant that echoes within me through
all of these trying days,
is the fact that I love you and I always will.

06-27-2002, 03:29 PM
Yeah. . . I know, I know. . . I'm double posting! ^_~ I just wanted to say:

Thanks everyone for the feedback! Keeps me making my writing better.

I know that I haven't posted anything in a while and I thought that I would post this untitled poem I wrote this morning. This one was hard for me to write. . .


Every Life has a beginning,
every soul -- an epiphany.

For so long, I was dead within.
My Life began upon meeting you.
And my beginning was when you walked in.

Most Lives start with a form of birth. . .
But nothing could compare to the joy
inside when our love was spawned.

I found myself again through you.

You were my beginning.

Most souls go through Life
without a meaning,
missing a purpose deep inside.

You are now my purpose,
my reason for being and living.

With you, my Life now has more meaning.

Usually an epiphany comes with
some deep inner realization.
But with you, there really wasnít much to realize.

Only simple fact.
Our hardships have made us stronger.
And it will continue to.

I love you, I still do and always will.

Donít you see?

Iíd walk down Lifeís road a million times over,
as long as youíd be waiting
for me with open arms at the end.

Fatal Divide
06-27-2002, 04:19 PM
Wow, that poem was incredible Tifa! It's amazing! Makes me really think about stuff happening at the moment in my life. Your work is totally awe inspiring, and I hope you keep it up.

06-27-2002, 04:34 PM
Originally posted by Fatal Divide
Wow, that poem was incredible Tifa! It's amazing! Makes me really think about stuff happening at the moment in my life. Your work is totally awe inspiring, and I hope you keep it up.

What kinds of stuff does it remind you of in your Life?

*ahem* Sorrie. Don't mean to pry or be nosey. But thanks Fatal. :) Really. It's always nice hearing feedback from you. Honestly, when I started writing it, I didn't think it would turn out all that good. So thx.

06-27-2002, 10:41 PM
I like the new one, too. The older one is good, but this new one's more powerful. I can relate to it too, in a way.

07-20-2002, 01:35 PM
Erm, sorry for taking so long too post, but I've been in a. . .sort of an emotional rut lately. (Like anyone cares. . . )

*ahem* But anyways, here goes my poem:



The signifigance of today. . .
and all other today's like today,
is supposed to have some special
meaning, some deep emotional importance.

It does, but this is like a bittersweet dose of memories.
And I'm unsure if I can deal with the onslaught.

They say whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. . .
I hope this can only toughen me up.
'Cuz right now I'm feeling like I'm tettering on the
edge of something crucial.

Tears come to my eyes, for
I am confused and left wondering. . .
I made the choice but I am still yearning.

Why? Why must it be this way?

Today, and past today's makes a small smile
crease my face as I recall.

I wonder what hurts more?
Thinking that there might not be any more 20th's
to celebrate, or wishing that I could celebrate it with you?

As I sit here and gaze at the evening,
gazing at the stars framing the Night sky,
I see your reflection upon my heart.

I'm missing you.
There are times when I reach out to touch you,
swearing that you're there.
But you're not.

The tears and the pain rolls on, as I think of you
. . . I can't help it.

By the grace of God's Hand is the only way
how I'll make it through today.

07-24-2002, 08:31 PM

That was a great read, i loved the whole thing, and can totaly understand how you feel/felt when you wrote this poem. It pains me to know, but it is good to know, that I am not the only one in the world who has had those type of feelings. Great job....


also, i am glad to be your 100th reply and your 800th person to view your stuff. Keep it up.

07-25-2002, 07:03 PM
Originally posted by FFSilver

also, i am glad to be your 100th reply and your 800th person to view your stuff. Keep it up.

Thanks Silver for your comment. It is much appreciated. :D

:eek: 800 people have read my poetry? *feels special* It's great to know that others are reading my poetry. When I first came to the Shrine I was. . . let's just say I'm pleased about that.

Thank you, EVERYONE for your feedback. I love it!! It helps me write better, makes me WANT to keep writing. So THANKIES EVERYBODY! *huggles* ^__^.

07-26-2002, 02:49 AM
I love all of your poems ^_^ their so pretty and have alot of emotion in them. Their all very beautiful :)

I wish I could write like that ^^; your poems are so nice and great to read *claps*


07-26-2002, 07:24 PM
Well look, FF. Here's goes another poem. ^__^.


This one was hella hard for me to write, much less post. It has a special meaning to me. Well, here goes! (Feedback please!)


When Angelís Fall

Everything changes when Angelís Fall.

The Earth trembles at an Angelís sorrow, rippling from
the heartache of her being so far from her loved one.
For within this seemingly immortal being
is a yearning for that which Life and Love are made of.

Heaven is with you,
and Hell is being without.

For this very Angel thought
that no one else could ever capture her celestial heart-
stir her soul-
mirror her deepest emotions-
and put the Light back into her eyes.

When Angelís Fall, they care not for the
Grace that hugs their lips,
the ethereal l light glowing from fingertips.

When Angelís Love. . .
They break all bounds, resurrecting the belief in the impossible.

Time is irrelevant.
The World could fall away and all that
would swirl in her Vision is her dearest.
Forever wouldnít even seem long enough.

For the love of this Angel-
Might make Lucifer shame,
and blind Michael with itís Clarity.

Then when itís all said and done,
An Angelís wish was granted.

True Love.

A Loveless World brought the Angel down-
A heart summoning. . . calling to her own.
His heart.

The stars simply gave their blessing when she descended.

Years of pain shimmer away,
within the time span of mere days.
Allís that left is the need of gentle whispered words or a soft embrace.

Not even the Angel was prepared for the Fall. . .
Much less the Aftermath.

All she can do is Love, giving her all. . .
Pouring out all of her strengths and weaknesses
Finally, laying her fragile Heart at his feet.

How can anything less than what he is not be enough?

Let the dreams fall where they may-
Let the Earth continue to revolve-
Cause the Love will take root for all Eternity. . .

. . . When Angelís Fall.

07-27-2002, 12:38 AM
I love that poem :) It's written so well.

The theme of it is what I liked. And how you word everything is really nice.

Very very good job ^_^

07-28-2002, 06:58 PM
I havn't read your poems in sooooo long..... Damn that was awsome. Poetry at its best. Keep up the amazing work, I would hate to see you stop.

07-29-2002, 10:50 PM
Heh, that was really strong and emotional Tif. *Hugs and claps.* Heh, well done! ^_^

Fatal Divide
08-22-2002, 04:41 PM
Another brilliant piece of poetry Tekno. I'm a big fan of your work, and your a great influence to me. I really admire your writing abilities, and I hope that you'll continue to show us more of your amazing talent.

08-22-2002, 10:57 PM
Originally posted by Fatal Divide
Another brilliant piece of poetry Tekno. I'm a big fan of your work, and your a great influence to me. I really admire your writing abilities, and I hope that you'll continue to show us more of your amazing talent.

Moi? An influence? :D Well thanx Fatal. It means much, coming from a talented writer such as yourself.

I'll be sure to post some soon because this writers block is killin me! :rolleyes:

Thanx everyone for your feedback.

Ja Ne~!

09-03-2002, 06:11 PM
Erm. . . here I go, double posting again! :D My writer's block came tumbling down in 1st period when I wrote this! ^______^ (I dun really have a title for this one, but if someone could suggest a title for it, I'd appreciate it!)


Always thinking of you.
No matter where I am,
my thoughts always seem to
drift back to you.

There is no one else.
Need I say more?

The sun smiles on you upon waking,
the stars wink their blessings to you
and the moons lends you it's grace.

And just because we aren't together,
that doesn't mean that I love you any less.

When I sit here and gaze out the window,
my mind strays to all the promises we made
to eachother and how we said we'd be together forever.

On that day,
forever became no more than a moment in time,
and I'm stuck thinking about the yesterday's spent,
now gone, though forever encased in my heart.

I wish it didn't have to be this hard. . .

I miss you and I still love you.


A no-brainer on who this was about ne~? ;)

09-03-2002, 07:29 PM
These are wonderful. I especially like both "Addiction" and "Never Let Me Go". They have a great flow to them. I don't know if you compose music at all, but some of these would make fantastic songs....I reccomend you look into it. :)

09-03-2002, 08:54 PM
Originally posted by Terra Branford
These are wonderful. I especially like both "Addiction" and "Never Let Me Go". They have a great flow to them. I don't know if you compose music at all, but some of these would make fantastic songs....I reccomend you look into it. :)

Thanks soooo much for the comment. ^_____^. I really appreciate it. It makes me want to keep writing. And as far as music, I have such a passion for it and I would loooovvveee to compose some! I could be in a band. . .*nudge nudge Sky nudge*

But really, I have written a few songs. I only hope one day they can be recorded. :D

09-03-2002, 09:19 PM
If you ever get them online, be sure to send them to me. I would really love to hear them.

09-03-2002, 10:00 PM
Your latest poem is great, and I'm glad your writer's block is gone ^_^

(I'm not sure how I'm going to word this, but I'll do it the best I can, lol) I love how you say stuff in your poems like, "The sun smiles on you upon waking." It really catches my attention, but I'm not sure why ^_^ It's kool.

Keep writing, and no more writer's block!! lol ^_~

09-03-2002, 10:23 PM
YAY!! It's ruley that you're writing block is gone as having writing blocks sucks! I had it heaps of times before and it just makes you sooo angry at yourself cos you wanna write good writings but you're writing block is stopping you from doing that.

I think I kinda still have writing block but oh well... Do you feel like that Drea? Anywayz, on to comments about your pettiful poem.

It really reminded me of this romantic novel I have been reading like, now (don't ask...) and some of the sentences where you put the word 'forever' really meant something to me cos the book is all about this forever business. Very lovey-dovey. If any of you girls at the Shrine would like to read this book I'm talking about feel free to PM me whenever you like as it is quite good.

Also, I really liked the romantic and honest feelings in the poem as it made it sooo real. Yus, your poem makes a great love poem and I really like it.

Keep up the good work Drea! *Wiggles, huggles and claps.* GO you!!

I really like the kawaii Japanese phrases you put in your sig, but I better check up for you that it's correct as it would be wrong to put Japanese words wrong as it will be sorta like dissing the Japanese. Anywayz, it's still ruley! ^_____^

FD Return
09-04-2002, 07:40 AM
What can I say? That's my fav poem of yours so far. It's incredible, full of emotion and feeling. I really like your use of words in it, as it adds to the affect even more. It's awesome, and I hope you'll continue to write more. Plus, I'm sure you'll make it into a band someday.

09-16-2002, 09:14 PM
I haven't in a while, to busy writing/planning for other mess but somethan kinda hit me today so I'll just post this.

(I haven't really had writer's block, just laziness fused with not wanting to post certain stuff.)

*ahem* Here goes. Feedback pls, I was hesitant to post this one!
Trying Again

Never thought that I could feel this way again
Never dreamed it could be possible after you.
Not that I have any real regrets, sometimes I just wonder;
"What if" I could have said somethings differently,
or "What if" I went through things more carefully.

But those times are gone, lost after the moment passed,
although forever etched in the sands of memory.
The nostalgic feeling still lingers on like a whisper
against my soul.

Kind of like a pinprick on my heart
when something reminds me of you.

Time does heal, in truth,
the scars have gone, it hasn't been
easy, but then again, nothing ever is with me.

Forgiveness is hard, especially in that of the self.
I learned that firsthand.
It takes time, like in everything else.

Don't linger too long,
for now I'm learning how to let go,
it was what it was and we met for a reason.

. . . Now I have new memories to fill my days.

Wondering if I'm falling to hard or too fast.
Trying to make each moment last.
But I'll take each day as it goes,
and try not to go too painstakingly slow.

All I know it's my heart is kindled again,
after it took all that emotional rendering to mend.

So, as I write this, I'm trying again.

09-17-2002, 02:05 AM
Heh, I really like that poem as it paints a picture in your mind as it is so well-written and emotional. I really get where you're coming from in some parts of the poem. Yep, that poem rocks!!

*Claps and wiggles.* ^_____^

09-24-2002, 03:55 PM
[Only registered and activated users can see links]

This is long, and somethan I decided to write just for the sake of it, it's true and about me, btw. Read it when you have time to, and these words might change how you look at me so READ WITH CAUTION!!

Not for Knave's Eyes


Every since I was a child I've been precocious. Also curious, wide eyed and unsuspecting. I always used to like to get into things and mess with them, like one morning before the sun rose I called myself "cooking breakfast." I had flour everywhere, on my face, in my hair, all over the kitchen AND the kitchen floor.

I guess in that case it was the thought that counted. =)

My earliest memories were of my Grandfather, oddly, after the flour incident. I say it's odd because I never spent much time with my Grandfather, he never was really a major part in my Life, but I DO remember sitting on the floor, singing some melody I made up to myself.

I recall him kneeling down on the floor in front of me and he handed me this bowl of gumbo and he asked me did I know how to eat the crab.

I mumbled something to the effect of "Yeah, my Dad taught me how to." Then my Grandfather left and I remember looking at the bowl, still humming.

My Life has been interesting. . . and hard, but then again, what Life isn't a struggle? I won't proclaim that I've seen Hell, except for my own personal one, but I have been wracked with nightmares since mebbe the young age of 3 from the medicine morphine the Doctors gave me to "help" with my premature birth, the same medicine that I think tormented me with nightmares so starlingly real the line between my dreamstate and reality was so frequently blurred.

The nightmares and reality got so bad, YEARS of my Life have been lost to me, I can't recall anything of that time or that place, my Mother had to tell me 2 years of my Life. Sad, but true.

I've seen people's spirits crushed underneath the foot of mental oppressors, seen the Life fade from some of my best friends eyes, saw ME make the Life fade from others.

At one point in my Life, suicide didn't even phase me. I remember laying there, the knife in my grasp, the prospect of Death made me so emotionless. I just remember tears in my eyes, getting up off of the floor, and putting the knife back in the drawer gently as if I wasn't just calmly comtemplating taking my own Life.

I guess then was my slow descent.

For a whole summer all I did was cry and sleep, to melancholy and too stupid to see how sadness and my own guilt for other's actions was taking my Life away, another form of suicide because I couldn't, DIDN'T want to slit my wrists, so I emotionally killed myself day by day as the tears slipped down my cheeks.

Even then, I walked around like lifeless shell, going through the every day motions. . . as if my mind and body were seperate entities. . .

I can't even begin to describe those bitter years that started around 6 or so years back.

But the thing I can say is that I distinctly remember my climb back up from the bottom. . .

09-24-2002, 09:01 PM
Er. Yush. Here's me. . . double posting. I do it often. :p


Today I remember Maria saying about how every person has had a suicidal thought, and how we all encountered that in our lives.

I agree.

But everyone comes upon it in different ways. My coming upon it took years until it rose to a crucial breaking point. I suppose I shouldn't have let it get to me, let it overwhelm me so much, but I didn't know how to do much else but let it get that way.

Many things kept me sane. Writing for one, I think that's one reason why I still write. It kept me from, certain Hell's, so to speak. Music did keep me grounded as well. I swear to God; (which I dun do often,) that Sarah McLaughlin's song "Sweet Surrender" kept me from killing random people and chopping them up in little pieces.


I remember feeling so bad I wanted to disapear literally. I recall wanting to sink into the floor of my apartment and just. . . float into thin air. That night I was gazing at the stars and the moon, and me wanting the Night to surround me, so I sink into it and become the "me" that I wanted to be.

I used to talk to the stars, the sky, whatever. (I dun think God was too much in my Life at that time.) Begging, pleading to up above to make me something more, to one day discover who Undrea really was.

Then I remember Sky telling me how he didn't know how someone like me could get this way.

Lemme try and awnser it for you. About 3 years, on and off, (more on than off,) being the brunt of others jokes, merciless teasing, slurs thrown to hurt, attacks meant to bruise me. I was always an overly sensitive child, the increasing laughs and pointings did little to help. And not the fun teasing. The mean, cruel kind.

That wore me down as well.

Not to say that there weren't good times, but back then it was too far and in between.

Nowadays people say not to let others get to you, try not to let it bother you, that it doesn't matter what others think of you, but in truth, it matters. . . A LOT.

And I guess for the rest of my Life I'll be leery when someone laughs around me. Even if it's friends, I'll daze off and flash to a time when those laughs were directed at me.

I hate to say it, but I was a part of a clique in my Elementary School. These 2 girls, Roxanne and Seema, they used to hate me. Well, hate is a strong word. Let's say, strong dislike. Looking back, I can see the petty jealously. Back then, it seems that the torment would never end. Looking back, I saw how naive I was too.

They were mad because I had more friends, that more guys liked me, that I "developed" faster than them. (Some even called me popular.) I guess then, they saw in me everything that I couldn't see about myself.

To me, I was just some scrawny black girl. Your everyday normal female. Mebbe they saw competition. I dunno.

As I sit here and think and type; I mentioned my crawl up from the bottom. I guess it all started here, that one morning on the one summer I cried my eyes out before I entered Junior High School, I walked into the bathroom.

To be honest, I was tired of the self loathing and wallowing in the self pity that I had grown accoustomed to. One day, I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I saw my sad face, my puffy red eyes and my red nose. I didn't look in the mirror, but I really looked at myself.

I stared so long and so hard at my reflection that for a moment I thought the "me" in the mirror would jump out and start talking to me, convince me to pick myself up and stop dying inside. To my dismay, no such luck.

The only thing closest to that was me asking my reflection; "What are you doing to yourself?" Then I stared at myself a bit more and then I got too tired of it and I turned off the bathroom light and left.

That, was the beginning of the change. No one said ascending was easy. In my mind, that truely was the first step. . .

09-28-2002, 11:26 PM
I read the first part of that writing at another forum you have it at, and it's extremely strong... the second part seems even stronger, and very well written. It gives me a better outlook on you because reading it let me know more about you ^_^ Tis a bit sad, but really interesting to read. You express youself well through words and writings, which is good. Your a great writer, and I hope you add more to this ^_^ I can safely say I can relate to some of what you put in those writings.. not all of it, but some.

continue :)

10-01-2002, 03:36 PM
Thank you Desi. I appreciate it. BUNCHES! =D Here goes some more, if ya wanna read it:


Ascending was hard to do, I had no identity for the longest time. And for the longest time, it felt like I was dead inside, like I was nothing, just an empty shell of "me" walking around.

The name "Undrea" had no meaning to me. It was just what I was called, then again, isn't that the esscense of a name?

I'm drifting again.

To say the least, I didn't have a sense of self. I had lost it. I became what other people thought of me, I became the reflection of what other people saw of me. That's why I never met people's eyes, never made any eye contact. I didn't want to see their expectations of me.

I always downplayed myself, always stayed in the background.

But Fate wouldn't let me. I was always the leader in clubs, always the head of something, always guiding people, directing them where they should go. Always the helper.

I was picked on in Middle School too, but it didn't faze me, I was downtalked and downtrodded on so much. I mean, at that point in time, at least I wasn't crying myself to sleep every night. I almost got into a fight over it though, but I figured it wasn't worth it when the girls were just jealous because of my hair length.

It was hard to figure out to who I was. I didn't know my true self for so long, all I figured was that I had to go back to my roots, my childhood.

I remember how I was then, so carefree, loving and. . . myself, basically. And I remember how easily loving myself had become.

I always remember giving of my soul and heart freely. I knew deep down that I had to get back to back to that.

So, for my trying years in Middle School, I tried to get back to the "old me". . .

Allen Schezar
10-02-2002, 12:45 PM
Your name is what makes you who are. It should have real inportance to you you btw Your poem is still the greatest I have ever read.

10-02-2002, 01:00 PM
*looks at Stephen and beats you over the head with a rubber chicken*

It isn't poetry!!!

10-06-2002, 03:03 AM
OMFG!!! Woah... Drea, your ah, autobiography is like the story of ~my~ life.

No jokes... Thankies for putting it in to strong and emotionable words for me. You showed me that I'm not the only one living in a dream and ~a lot~ about you.

I was really close to tears when I read those posts cos I knew you were getting at me where it hurt and that is the truth. I've always denyed the truth and I've lied to someone who didn't deserve it and it made me feel so worthless. Drea, you probably know what I mean so I will leave it there.

Um, I have said ~way~ too much. I will just go now... I think I'm honestly going crazy :notgood:

EDIT: Also, your autobiography was really amazing and I truely enjoyed reading it as I felt an unique connection with you through your words. Keep up the excellent work! *Claps and wiggles like crazy* ^_______^

10-06-2002, 10:36 PM

It was hard to come to myself in Middle School. 'Especially because I had no sense of self and it just felt like I was wandering.

But one thing about me the whole time that never really changed was my love for others. . . my love for all people around me really kept me from going over the deep end at that time.

Suicide meant nothing to me. It was all. . . it had no affect on me. It didn't scare me. But over time, I had to come to come to grips with my past.

. . . It took me around 2 years though and a LOTTA tears to get through my past. I had to think about how I contributed to those who bullied me, how I let it eat me alive, how I kept allowing it to eat me alive, and how I could stop it from continuing to devour me.

It was hard, and it was somethan, facing the true me, after all this time, to have the real me hidden from myself all this time and then to be faced with it so suddenly. . . it was something painful. More painful than happy because I had to look at the TRUTH of things and not how I wanted them to be.

I think that's what helped my downfall for those years. . . lying to myself and hiding my true feelings. Then again, I think that's what can kill you, hiding what you feel and not letting your true emotions. . . your true self come out.

You have to face your demons.

I guess I learned that the hard way.

And for years after that, I struggled with keeping my true self. But believe me, losing yourself almost completely is harder than keeping it. . .

10-06-2002, 10:55 PM
Heh, I like that last auto-biography thingie as well. It really gave me hope in the current situation I am in which is killing me from the inside. Thankies Drea-san!

*Huggles and wiggles* It's also written really well and is quite emotionally ah, touching. Then again I'm a really sensitive person and I think you must be too as we sorta have feelings and thoughts about things that are nearly the same.

Anywayz, GO you!! Please continue on with your auto-biography as it's really interesting. *Sits down on a nearby sofa eating some popcorn, lol*

Um, how did you learn to get through all this crap you when through anywayz? I'm just really curious as it seems like a huge job to me and you're sorta like my hero now. Yup, you ownz liek whut! ^_^

10-08-2002, 08:56 AM
Thnx a lot Amelia. .. and Desi as well. Thanks for your words. They help much! ^____^ And I'll be posting another part soon, I just got some shit on my mind that kinda happened so I have to write a poem about it.


What is a friend?
A comrade on whom you can depend.
That's what I thought you were
I loved you, you were folks.

But somethan happened.
Time happened.
And you seemed to change.
I thought I could trust you.

Guess I thought wrong.

You always came to me when you
had problems, but not as much as I leaned on you.
But when I needed and wanted the support
where were you?

Months and months of talking with you,
investing my time. . .
For what?

Once things got rough you turned
your tail and ran like a little. . . *sigh*
Let's not get into that.
And you said that's what I did.

Through thick and thin,
thought we'd hold it down forever.
What happened to forever by the way?
It got lost in all the problems. . .
all the Hell we went through,
got lost in the tears of my sorrow and pain.

Now it seems I'm back at square one.

Tryin not to give a damn what you do,
trying not to care but everything
around me seems to remind me of you. . .
and what happened.

Why did we come to this end?

This person I used to call a friend.

10-08-2002, 11:13 PM
Wow. Apparently you've been to hell and back, but you've shown strength right here by revealing your disturbing memories of the past, hopefully to leave them behind..

In any case, your words are impactful, and meaningful. I was especially able to relate to your last poem 'Friend'.
Keep being strong, Drea.

10-09-2002, 08:53 AM
Thanks DL. Really. What you said meant a lot. :D

And thank you as well, Desi and Amelia. . . You guys comments on my writing mean a lot. Honestly.

I'll be sure to post the next part soon. . . Some other stuff happened that made me feel really down but I'll be sure to write some more.

. . . *kicks Life* ^_____^

10-20-2002, 11:02 PM
Heh, I like that 'Friend' poem as it's real to life, written well and is full of good emotions. I once wrote a poem about friends and I used to think it was pretty good but now I realize that is was all fake as the poem was about kind friends and you're very lucky if you find a good friends these days. Well, that's just what I think but you peepz might have other ideas.

Heh, that's okay Drea. I just luv reading your writings as they are really interesting and written well. I just took a while to read this one cos I have been sorta busy lately. For now, I'm waiting for the next part of your ah, life story but I know it will be good anywayz.

*Kicks Life as well* Take that and that! *Sighs*

I am weird... :uh?: :uh?:

Allen Schezar
10-22-2002, 10:30 AM
I love your poetry and your poetry makes me happy when I read it. Nice poem n e ways.

12-11-2002, 10:04 AM
Sorry all. I've been busy. I think I have some time today to post some more, but I'll have to post it up. (I think I'll try to get part 5 up by today or tomorrow.)

*huggles* Gomen Nasai you guys. Really. I've been grounded. =\

12-11-2002, 09:41 PM
Eeeek sorry to hear you got grounded.
Anyhoo I was just reading the last few pages of this thread,(just catching up) and your words are amazing! :eek: When you get time, Im sure we'd all love to hear more.

12-13-2002, 01:17 PM
. . . I have time, so here it is. . .

As I sit here and type this, I think of how DL said that I've been to hell and back, and how he mentioned that I keep being strong. And also, as I type this, I remember Amelia's words as well.

I think the hardest part of living Life is actually living it.

The major thing to facing your demons is. . . facing them. Really.

For so long, I never knew who or what I was. I always struggled with who I was, my identity. I guess I was just trying to live up to everyone's expectations of me and what I should BE doing instead of what I wanted to do.

It took a while to wade through that.

Although, as most things, it is easier said than done. For me, I just broke down all that I did and I didn't lie to myself, I told the truth of what I did and why I did it.

That's what helped me through the lies.

I am trying to describe the struggle of finding WHO I really was. It was like, wading through the an unknown place, blindfolded. It was harder to get through it because I had lied to myself for so many years.

As far as everything else, wading through what I was, I figured out what I had to get back to.

Throughout time. . . I just had to face the truth. And that, was harder to face then the lies, because then, I had to come to grips with who I had become. At that time, I was manipulative, I lied, cheated, and stole from my friends and made them believe I was someone I wasn't. I was mean, cold-hearted, and yanked my friends on short leashes because I didn't want to be attatched.

I was a far cry from the type of person you all know now. And from what you have seen of me, you see that I am the total opposite.

Truth. In the end, that's all that mattered.

The truth. . .

12-14-2002, 02:44 AM
Drea that piece of writing was really enjoyable to read and I found that I can relate to what you're saying and I feel like we are on the same wave length.I often have trouble dealing with my mistakes that I made in the past and they come to bite me back in the future so I know I should learn how to deal with myself better but I still don't. I often act fake around people I don't know but when I'm around people I know and trust I'm really outgoing and likeable.

I really like that side of myself rather than the quiet enigmatic girl in the class at school. That's the side of myself that I show on FFS so just be glad I guess. Also, I have lied to someone at FFS in the past and she knows how it is.

I just had a really hard time dealing with myself at the time and learning about myself and now I feel like I know more about myself (hopefully). Anyhoo, enough about me... Congrats Drea on writing such a touching piece of writing. You really are talented and remember I'm only a PM away if you need me ^_^

01-08-2003, 10:05 AM
Thanx Amelia hun. *huggles and chiggles* You know I ALWAYS appreciate your feedback.

I'm given the my story a rest for a bit. A poem came to me just now. . .


Something, Somehow, Somewhere and Sometimes

Something tells me that
this transformation will be nothing
less than my everlasting soliloquy.

Somehow my feelings are
coming back to life,
somehow the memories
do not sting like so many thorns.

Somewhere I feel
that along the road
I will be all right.

Sometimes I think
I'll actually see
the light of day again.

Something seems like it is
coming to Life within me.
A new me, with new thoughts,
a new outlook and new feelings.

Somehow I'm discovering a whole
new uncharted part of myself,
parts that I never revealed to you.

Somewhere down this road I lost myself again.

Sometimes I wonder if I have found it
in a new manisfestation of myself.

Something tells me that
this is a different end,
and yet a new beginning.

Heavens Cloud
01-08-2003, 10:09 AM
I allways enjoy reading your poems Drea they have so much heart and feeling to them... keep it up i cant wait to read your next one :)

01-09-2003, 01:18 AM
Yeah, your recent poem was good Drea and I really like the theme you chose for it. Enough said~ Keep up the great work!

*Claps* ^_^

02-03-2003, 02:10 PM
[Only registered and activated users can see links]


Did you think that I might let you get to me?
Become another tire-streaked person
over your bulldozer of un-happiness?

Well, I see behind your mask.
Didn't think I did or would, didja?
Well I do, and it's time to stop the charade.

Bitch. . . I won't let you get to me.
Fuck off I've had enough problems in my Life
and I don't need you maken it worse.

For once I'm trying to forget you,
and everytime I try, there you go
again, creeping up on my mind, boring into my brain.

I've never hated anyone, (I honestly don't think it's built in me,)
. . . but I can say that I hate you.
In every pore in my body, in every breath of my soul.

Why must you be such a rotten person?

Sod off. . .

02-03-2003, 10:02 PM
I'm sorry for not posting in so long, Drea-Drea :(

That "Friend" poem I can relate well to, as most of your poems, and the "Something, Somehow, Somewhere and Sometimes" poem too. That one is esspecially one of my favourites you have written, and actually it reminds me of my friend Haley. (It's not a bad reminder, so dun worry.) I get really interested in your poems and other writings because of how well it is to know what your feeling - like a taste of it. I love all of your literature, Drea :)

and as for that lastest poem; understandable. I can see where your going with it - and it really sucks that there are so many mean people out there, esspecially the "kids".

02-04-2003, 03:16 AM
Great poem Drea~ I can really relate to your latest poem (I'm sure lots of people can) really well because I went through that at school today as well. Unfortunately, I'm letting it get to me even though I know it's the most smallest event to happen in my sad little life it's just as everything seems too much for me because I'm feeling really down at the moment =(

Anyhoo, a good poem Drea with lots of good emotions and realistic scenarios alongside. Keep it up! ^_^

02-04-2003, 09:53 AM
Thanx Desi and Amelia. *hugglies* I have another poem I want to share. . . It's kinda modeled after Lisa's last poem. . .


Dedication to Lisa (Quistis-chan)

There's something to be said about Lisa. . .
Despite being a great person who is always grounded in her convictions. . .
A person who people look to for inspiration, friendship. . .
Who I look to for those things. . .
For who in truth would think you'd be under dirt. . .
The beginning and ending of all Life when you seem to radiate the glow of the living. . .
The glow of a good-hearted person. . .

We all are a product of dirt. . .
But it's what we do with that dirt. . .

Though in the end you can always rise above. . .
Dig yourself out of the dirt. . .
To overcome. . .
If you need help. . . Take my hand. . .
I'll help you to shake off the dirt that people cringe at. . .

For the strongest light is the light of Hope. . .

Why would someone want to trample over your feelings. . .
Trample over the Lisa that I have come to know. . .

Dirt. . .
Because if you ever feel beneath dirt. . . Lemme know. . .
I'll be there to help you out of it. . .

02-04-2003, 10:23 PM
Lovely poem Drea~ I'm sure Lisa will love the poem as it's so heartfelt. I really like it ^_^

Great job! *Claps* =D

02-24-2003, 09:57 AM
*laughs to herself* It's been a while and I was just remembering mess. . .


Love Makes

Love makes you want to do the strangest things.

Love makes you want to crest the highest mountain,
Breach the deepest sea,
kiss the loftiest star.

Love makes you yearn for a kiss,
a caress,
soft whispered words in the engulfing darkness,
your only tether to reality is your lover's arms around you.

Love makes me want to hold you,
to tell you the things I never could in passing,
makes me want to make the seconds
be frozen in eternity.

For when I see you my heart jumps and
this heat rush feels me. . .
I immeadiately want more.

Because that day on Valentine's Day wasn't enough. . .

Love makes we want to cherish you. . .
adore you, frame you as a picture in my heart.

Love makes.

02-28-2003, 03:35 PM

Bravo, now thats the kind of work I missed from you.

I'd like to know who the muse is, holla at me Drea

02-28-2003, 04:34 PM
Beautiful poem Drea. It's the perfect romantic poem. Very well done.

03-02-2003, 09:18 AM
Romantic indeed ;) Oh Drea, I cant believe you feel that way about me!! Kiss me now!!!! :D j/k j/k ;)

Great job Drea Drea. I cant say I exactly know what love feels like, cuz I'm just a kid, but I've had a first dose of it this year and it feels pretty daaaaaamn good. Reading that poem gives me a hint at how it must feel, and love poems are the best at showing emotion.

to sum it up - terrific work ^_~

03-03-2003, 09:58 AM
Originally posted by Deus Immortale

Bravo, now thats the kind of work I missed from you.

I'd like to know who the muse is, holla at me Drea

*gasps in mock shock* Me? Have a muse? *laughs* Not really but. . . ah hell, I'll holla at cha. And thanx. ^_^

Originally posted by Amara Ciel

Romantic indeed Oh Drea, I cant believe you feel that way about me!! Kiss me now!!!! j/k j/k

I love you too Desi! Let's run away and get married!!! xD

*cracks up* I swear that was like the funniest thing I've heard all day.

Here's another one. . .


I never thought

Looking into your eyes, I feel like I wanna drown.
Being with you is like feeling a high coming down.
Never thought I could feel this way again. . .

. . . but I am.

Never thought that I'd yearn
so much to see a face in the morning.
Never thought I'd want so much to hear a voice.

. . . but I am.

Never thought that I would want so much for a kiss,
for your touch. . .
The ways about you I find I'm missing so much.

Your smile, I swear, that all it takes,
to make me feel like a pile of hormones.
My insides quake, my knees are weak.

Never thought that it could be.

I never want to leave your side.
Please say that you feel the same, or that you will.
But one look at you is enough to tell.

To hell with tomorrow, let's spend today together.

. . . I never thought.

03-25-2003, 10:10 AM
Another poem I posted on another board. . .


Things that I can't say.
Treasured feelings that
you'll never know.

If love is a game
then I don't want to play.
I never want to play again.

I never wanted to play again.

But now I found that after
so long, my heart is feeling
those stirrings once more.

I am falling for you. . .
Slowly but surely I am. . .
. . . And I don't know what to do.
I never do.

All I know is you're one
of the last people
I expected to fall for.

I want to tell you,
but I know you don't
feel the same as I do.
Your hearts belongs to someone else.

And now that I am finally
over the last guy who was in love
with another, I fall for someone else
who has the same problem as the one before?

If love is a game. . .
If my feelings are a game. . .

Then I don't want to play.

04-03-2003, 04:14 PM
This one is a long one. I started it out thinking something and it turned into something totally different. . .


Through my Eyes

So many peoples lives. . . sprawled out in front
of my sleeping mind like the infinite twinkling of
the stars in the sky. . . like so many drops of rain. . .

People I don't even know. . . themselves, their
goals, scenes from their lives made so clear to me. . .
people whom I've never met but am destined to. . .

So many feelings rush at me, so many moods
I go through daily. . . the touch of so many
affect me. . . Negativity only makes it worse. . .
The positive light never shines on me. . .
or my dreams. . . only the darkness reaches out to me

The darkness of other people's weaknesses,
the core of their strength screams out to me. . .
Until their whole self is bared before me
with only a breath. . . only a glimpse into their eyes.

This is revealed to me. . . uncertainty is my
only constant in this. . . Without warning, I get
a peek into anothers soul. . . and that moment
forever transfixed within my mortal mind.

The light of their energy, so easy for me to touch,
so easy for me to see more of them then they do. . .
So easy for me to touch the depths of the person
they are to be. . .

The link between me and all of those
I care for is eternally unfaltering. . .
That very link is my connection to see so much of them. . .
to see the depths they barely reveal to the world. . .

I know the light is coming. . . I know it's there,
somewhere in the space beyond all of these
conflicting visions and emotions, but I wonder
when I'll reach the light. . . when something
I've Seen will come true. . .

The days tick by as surely as the Time flies. . .
And nothing. . . Still and yet nothing. . .
I am so weary. . . just so tired and so weary. . .
I just want something, anything to happen
so I could just face the Path of my dreams. . .

Somedays wishing my Sight could be deeper. . .
Sometimes wishing I could be Blind to this. . .
Dreams mean something.
Sometimes I wish mine meant nothing.

I see too much.
I see too much in me.
I see too much in you.
I see too much in everyone.

Somedays I wish I could put the Blinders on.

04-03-2003, 07:50 PM
I love the last two, esspecially "Through my Eyes." Your poems are becoming really good, and I like them alot. And dont worry, I still read all your poems tho I dont post alot. :) keep on pimpin it... or something :p